Happy New Year?

Like many of us, 2020 has been a bumpy year for me. I’ve had some personal challenges and rather bizarrely the end of the year heralded some good news - so much so that I find myself in a better place than at the end of 2019. Similarly, my best friend Alan has overcome the ordeal of a three year battle with an auto-immune condition that may now be on the wane and restore his life to an (albeit compromised) sense of normality.

The last few years of personal and physical struggles have meant that Alan and I rarely take much for granted these days and have both experienced some challenging times. These periods of despair and despondency, though, are mainly experienced in solitude.

What we do best and what we have done throughout our experiences is laugh. Our coming together, whether it face to face, phone calls or messages is littered with laughter and humour. Very rarely have we wallowed in misery or self-pity, and the moments we share our difficulties have always segued into fits of hysteria often at the absurdity of the predicaments we find ourselves in. Who would have thought we would end up like this?

Friendships are bound tighter by laughter. We can laugh like this at times like these because of our trust and love for each other, and we trust and love each other because we laugh like this.

Alan and I have shared the worst of times and put it all on the table for the other to poke and ridicule and it’s been the best medicine. Sharing vulnerabilities is hard to do and yet research shows it brings us greater life satisfaction both at work and at home because it deepens our relationships.

What Alan and I have done is manage our situations through laughing at ourselves and each other and not in a cruel way, because we have built the bonds of trust over years of sharing our deepest thoughts, concerns and secrets.

Whilst 2020 may have felt like it gave us little to laugh at, the laughs were still there to be had and maybe we have more opportunities this year.

Reach out to those with whom you have that trust and get it all out. It doesn’t get more bonkers than last year, and there will be experiences where we can let go of the frustrations and see the funny side of it. If not, just laugh anyway - you’ll feel a whole lot better for it.

Jane