Laughing – not just kid's play

When I ask a group of people when they laugh, often they mention it’s when they are around children. This is more pronounced in people who have grandchildren, who regularly tell me that they laugh more when spending time with their grandchildren. They laugh together in the school holidays, at half-term, and on outings together. It occurs to me that grandparents may laugh a little more with their grandchildren than parents might. There is a bit more space for laughter. Being a parent is often a remarkably busy time, juggling family, work, home, and social commitments. Sometimes it can feel as if there are just not enough hours in the day. There is simply so much to do. Laughter can get squeezed out.

A Gallup worldwide poll in 2013 demonstrated this effect. In a survey of 174,000 people from all around the world they asked people if they had laughed a lot yesterday. They found that the average four-year old laughed up to 300 times every day. In comparison, the average forty-year-old laughs three hundred times every two and a half months.

I was amused to read that toddlers ask up to twenty-six questions per hour at home. This apparently drops to two per hour when they are at school1. This struck me as sad. I feel that one of the most endearing things about toddlers and children is their vital curiosity, their endless exploration. They seem to just always want to know more. They ask so many questions, showing delight and surprise when an unexpected answer is given. One of the pleasures in my life is surprising children, both young and old, in knowing the answer to some of their questions. And this is even without asking a search engine. It can be a source of wonder and astonishment all round.

So where does laughter fit in. Well laughter can accompany the solving of a problem. An, “aha! – of course” moment - a satisfying, “yes, of course, that’s the answer”. So, we laugh at a clever clue, we laugh because we have been fooled. Playing games with children and adults alike also tends to evoke laughter. The delight shown when a child is taught a new game and ‘gets it’ is palpable. There is laughter in a room filled with games. This is play. We learn through playing. Play connects us and creates powerful, lasting memories.

Research in young adults has identified playfulness as having four characteristics2 (Proyer, Tandler & Brauer, 2019). Firstly, it is gregarious, cheerful, happy, friendly, outgoing, and sociable. Secondly, it is uninhibited, that is spontaneous, impulsive, unpredictable, and adventurous.  Thirdly, it is comedic, involving clowning around, jokes/teases, funny and humorous. Lastly, it is described as dynamic, active and energetic. So, when you have spent a special day playing, it’s not surprising that you often feel tired.

How might we introduce more playfulness into our lives? People like different forms of play. Noticing when you feel playful, noticing when you are smiling and laughing will all help to raise your awareness of playfulness. As children we had playdates. Perhaps we need to look at doing things that make us happy with loved ones.  Schedule a playdate… and enjoy the laughter.

Anna

* References

1. The Intelligence Trap, David Robson (2019). Hodder.

2. Proyer, R. T., Tandler, N., & Brauer, K. (2019). Playfulness and creativity: A selective review. Creativity and humor, 43-60.